Make the best of if...by Millie

A while ago (I think at the beginning of the summer) my friend Noelle wrote a blog post about making her apartment the best they could.  Her and her husband had made the decision to go to Law School here at the U, which meant that they would be here in the married housing for another three years.  They've painted some walls, rearranged and refinished some of their furniture. 

Well around the same time Robert and I were seriously thinking about leaving the Village. (the married housing)  We had found a basement apartment and the situation seemed pretty good.  We almost left, but then I just couldn't do it.  I couldn't face leaving our friends, the court or our ward.  I felt like we could do so much good in our ward, whereas in a regular family ward we could just get lost.  Well I felt good about the decision to stay, but Robert was pretty upset.  Understandably, Robert doesn't love our apartment.  He doesn't love how small it is, how we really don't have a kitchen, and how we are soo close to all of our neighbors.  He was really looking forward to a back yard, a garage and a bigger apartment.  And his social life (me and Aurora) wouldn't be hindered at all. 

Robert is a good man though and realized my concerns were legitimate and he let me make the final decision...and we stayed.  I wasn't 100% happy about staying, believe me I had looked forward to a backyard, nice kitchen and hard wood floors, but I knew I would be so lonely there.  Luckily Noelle's blog post came at the perfect time.  I decided that we should do the same thing.  We were going to stay in our apartment, but we were going to make it the best we could.  So we deeply cleaned and began a series of projects. 

Our first project was a dresser for Aurora.  One of our friends were getting rid of a dresser as they were moving out and we took it.   It had been painted different colors several times, and when we got it it was black with stickers that had been ripped off.  It wasn't a pretty picture and you could see why they were giving it away for free.  We sanded it down and painted it up cute for Aurora's room and now we love it, it's such a cute touch to her room.

The next two projects we're working on is our dresser and desk.  We're in the sanding process right now so we only have before pictures. 

The dresser is the same one I had as a child and the veneer on the top has bubbled up and peeled off from years of suckers being set on it.  It has been passed around the family for years and now it's made it's way back to me.   The desk we got from next to the dumpster.  People in the court set things they don't want outside of the dumpster and usually within an hour someone has taken it.  We're all pretty desperate for furniture around here.  We didn't know who the desk came from until yesterday, when the very same Noelle said they had it before us!  They had it for a while and never refinished it so they decided to get rid of it.  They had picked it up from the dumpster too.   We're going to paint these a stormy blueish color and hopefully they'll look awesome in our navy blue bedroom. 

Of course our bedroom is currently in shambles as the contents of our desk and dresser are piled on the ground, but I'm excited for the new furniture. 

Our last project for our apartment is to repaint the red wall we have in our front room.  We had mold over the winter and when the maintenance people came to fix the problem the paint they used dripped all down our wall.  So for months we've had white streaks down our red wall.  People always ask us if it's on purpose, and no it's not.  We have the paint, we're just waiting for the time!

Thanks Noelle for helping me see the bright side of the apartments, I hope our furniture turns out as great as yours.  And everyone else, you might not be exactly where you want to be, but make the best of it!
Have a great Monday!

-Millie

What a baby! by Millie

The other day I heard Robert from Aurora's room saying, "Help! Help!" 

I walked in and this is what I found...

He said Aurora locked him in a prison and he can't get out.

Then he added that the crib's mattress was really comfortable.

I said, "good, stay in there and break the crib!"

I really want a new one, the one we have is really old and came from Rindi's mother-in-law.  It has a drop down side and it's really rickety.  

Sadly the crib is not broken, but at least Aurora has a really good friend in her daddy.  

Even if his ideas are a little crazy sometimes.

-Millie

Stroke, Stroke, Stroke, Breathe by Millie

I am reposting this old post because...well...I can!

Enjoy!

I love to swim.  Unlike so many of my sister's I am not a good runner.  In high school during a volleyball game I herniated a disc in my lower back.  That injury ended my volleyball career and caused me to have a lot of pain for most of high school.  It was a huge trial for me.  I was 16 with a bad back.  After a year or so of suffering and then a year of treatments and physical therapy I started college with relatively little back pain. 

My first semester of college I took intermediate swimming.  I thought that it would be perfect for my range.  I knew how to swim, but I had never been on a swim team or taken lessons.  My mom taught us all to swim at my Grandma's pool and by the age of three or four we could swim well.  Well it turns out intermediate swimming is the highest level swim class at BYU and I was sharing a pool with former BYU swim team members or people working trying to get on the team.  Man I was intimidated!  I didn't even know how to put on a swim cap.  Luckily there were nice people in the class and they had us swim in lanes according to our speed.  I quickly went to the slowest lane so I wouldn't have to share it with any of the Speedo boys. (Even if I was faster than a lot of them, no boy in a Speedo would admit he's not a fast swimmer)  I loved the days of swimming and for that first semester of college I probably always smelled like chlorine, but I was in great shape and loving the exercise.

When I was a junior in college I went sledding with my friends even though multiple doctors had told me winter sports were off limits to me.  They had their reasons and by the end of the day I had hurt my back so bad I could barely breathe.  After a few weeks of physical therapy I was once again able to walk without any indication that I had back problems. 

Now I'm older and wiser.  I try not to do crazy things that would hurt my back.  But still I want to be in shape.  I've tried to run, I've tried exercise videos and I was even crazy enough to try P90X which left me stuck in my La-Z-boy for three days unable to move because of the back pain. I've come to the conclusion that if I want to exercise and be in shape then swimming is my only option.

I love the quiet of swimming.  You don't talk, you don't listen to music.  You might share a lane with another person but you don't even say anything to them and if you passed them on the street you wouldn't recognize them fully clothed and with out the swim cap and goggles.  There is no house to clean, kid and husband to feed, there is only you, flying through the water with minimal effort.  I love the feeling I have of flying and I love the control.  There is nothing to think about except, Stroke, Stroke, Stroke, BREATHE.  The outside world can't touch me and I have no worries.  Even when I'm feeling like I'm running out of breath, I know in another stroke I'll take a breath.

Sometimes life feels like it's overwhelming.  You feel like your drowning.  I often feel this way.  I feel like my life is meaningless or too hard.  I feel like the world is evil, and what's the point?  But then I remember...I am a good swimmer!  All I have to do is Stroke, Stroke, Stroke, BREATHE and I will make it.  Sometimes it feels like I can't breathe, and in all truth in that moment I might not be able to figuratively breathe, but if I can just make it three more strokes, then it will be my time to breathe.  In this life we will always get the time we need to "breathe" even if it is so short all we can do is fill our lungs once.  But that lung-full will be enough to allow you to dive back in and take the strokes you need to move forward.

Remember Dori from "Finding Nemo"? 

"Just keep swimming!"

-Millie

It got away from me...by Millie

The other day Robert walked in the door after a day of school and work to find this...

 When I saw the look on his face (luckily this picture doesn't capture the rest of the apartment), all I could say was, "sorry honey, this one kind of got away from me!"

Of course Robert just laughed because he knew what I meant.  

I'm sure my mother is cringing and she's thinking, "Didn't I teach her, 'if you fold each load as they come out...if you wash each dish as you dirty them, if you hang each outfit as you take it off'".  I know mom, I did listen...

but...

sometimes the day just gets away from you.

I think the day can get away from me for a variaty of reasons;

~bad night of sleep

~sickness of any shape or form, for any member of the family

~Stress or being busy for any number of reasons

~or just having one of "those" days.

But sometimes it's not one of those bad things, it could be;

~the weather was too perfect to spend a minute inside doing house work

~Robert has the whole weekend off and we have a few days of good family fun

~Aurora needs so much hugging, kissing and cuddling to let me leave her side

or

~I get to spend a whole day visiting my mom, sisters and their kids and we spend the whole day in the pool.

Really, when it's the good things, I'm not upset when the day gets away from me, and neither is Robert.

So next time you come into my house and you think a bomb of dishes, laundry or toys has gone off, don't worry, I may not be having a horrible day...

It might be the best day ever.

~Millie

Holding On...by Millie

It's Monday, and I have to admit, I am so glad it is a new week.  I'm not going to lie, last week was a week from...well I'm sure you can guess it's origins.   Unlike Judi, I've struggled with PMS from the time I hit puberty.  I felt like I learned to manage it pretty darn well when I was younger (don't ask my sisters though, they probably have a different opinion).  When I was a little cranky I would just get really quiet.  I stayed away and so did others.  Maybe I didn't really learn to deal with it, but it worked for me and I made it through my teen age years.

Fast forward to now.  My cooping mechanism has to change.  I can't stay away from everyone and stay really quiet; I have to take care of a little girl and husband.  I have to deal with other children and parents on the play ground and I have to go to church.

This week was probably the worst PMS week in a long, long time.  Poor Robert and Aurora had to deal with me all week and I'm surprised we all made it.   Obviously Robert has a really hard time understanding, he's a man and hasn't had his body try and sabotage his life.  So I came up with a pretty good analogy of what I have been feeling, and I'd like to share it. 

Sometimes I feel like I am holding on to a rope as tight as I can.  

This rope is hanging over a deep chasm,

at the bottom of the chasm there are flames.

I have to use all of my concentration to keep my grip, 

(Haws girls are not famous for their upper body strength)

As long as I keep my concentration I can stay high above the pit and the flames at the bottom.

The big problem is it is all an internal struggle, 

the pit and the flames are inside of me,

people on the outside cannot see how tight I am holding on...

and the distractions begin.

The distractions are many,

sometimes it's an unkind word, 

sometimes it's a toddler,

sometimes it's an inpatient husband,

and sometimes it's nothing.

But when I get distracted I forget to keep my grip tight and I start to slip.  

I don't completely fall, but by the time I refocus, I'm a few feet lower and closer to the flames.

Life isn't all bad on the rope though.

Sometimes someone helps by taking some of the weight from my grip,

a loving husband who does the dishes, or takes me mid-week date night,

a sweet kiss from the toddler that never gives kisses,

or a long conversation with a loving sister(s) who knows how to hang on.

Luckily holding on to the rope only takes major concentration about once a month, it seems like all the rest of the time I have a nice bridge to cross over the pit.  I look forward to this week and to that bridge coming back.

I guess I really understand now why every night my mom would say, "I'm at the end of my rope!"

So if this is your 'rope' week, hold on, this to shall pass and find a way to take some of the weight off.

-Millie

No Doubt

Happy Memorial Monday with Millie!

You know, the other day I was thinking about when I was young and in love with Robert, (I'm still in love with Robert, but a little less young...a little.)

When I was young and dreaming of marrying Robert I had no doubt about what our children would be like.

I had no doubt they'd be big strong kids. 

I had no doubt they'd have big beautiful blue eyes.

I also had no doubt they would have thick curly hair...but we're still working on the thick part.

What I didn't know was how Robert and I would combine.  I didn't really know what our kids would look like.  I was shocked when she came out looking so much like me!

me, I don't know how old

Me, probably 18 months or so?

I couldn't use pictures of me looking straight at the camera, Aurora's face is a lot like Robert's straight on.

I was also a little shocked when it turns out Aurora's personality was a lot like mine too!  She loves shows and characters.

The biggest shock of all was how Robert and I combined.  Aurora has my obsessive personality, and Robert's energy!  That makes for a very difficult 1 1/2 year old.

But even though Aurora looks like me, when Robert and Aurora are together,

There is no doubt they are Father and Daughter!

 
But most of all when I was young I had no doubt I would love my future babies!

-Millie

ALASKA!!!

Come, join me on this Marvelous Monday with Millie as I take you with me on a tour of my trip to ALASKA!

I don't think I had any doubt that I would love this vacation.  Here are my reasons:

1. I love Robert and I love spending time with him...

Us in Vancouver before we got on the Ship

Robert and I in Hoonah, Alaska with the ship behind us.  We saw lots of whales this day.

Us again in Hoonah on the "Nature Walk", It was free and beautiful.

Robert and I in Glacier Bay, man it was cold!

Us Whale watching in Juneau, Alaska

2. I love Robert's family and we love spending time with them...

but sadly I don't have any group shots...my sister-in-law had an awesome camera so she took all the group shots.  They're on facebook.

3. I love the Geography.  I am totally a geography nerd and Robert really saw that side of me over the trip.  I can get so excited about mountains!

That snow caped mountain in the middle was my favorite out of all the mountains around Vancouver.

This bay was gorgeous, I could have stayed on this beach forever.

The mountains and the moon over the little town of Hoonah.

The mountains rise dramatically around historic Juneau.

4. I love whales!  If I had to be an animal I would definitely want to be a whale.  They are so beautiful and graceful, especially for how large they are.  And to be able to lose 20% of your weight after having a baby...sounds good to me!  

We went out on a whale watching tour in Juneau and sadly our camera could not zoom enough to get good pictures, but we saw a mama and baby whale (and several others).  This baby was so playful jumping out of the water and the mom got into it too.  She would splash her tail and roll around slapping her fins on the water, it was amazing.

Bad picture but that dark thing is a baby humpback whale jumping out of the water.

If you could zoom in you would see the awesome tail fin gliding into the water.

There are always giant Sea Lions on this hazard marker.  I'm not going to lie, they didn't move once and we thought they looked dead.

This is an awesome little light house and estate.  The caretaker who lives there is the only one who lives on this island.  I should say only person.  It's a good size island and there is one brown bear (aka grizzle) for ever square mile of this island.  That's a lot of Grizzlies!

5. Last but definitely not least, I LOVE GLACIERS! 

The great Hubbard Glacier coming into Glacier Bay.  This baby was huge, this picture was taken when we were still miles away.  The ice flow was too thick because we were so early in the season, we couldn't get closer than two miles away.

Robert looking at the slushy ice flow we were plowing through...we tried not to think about the Titanic

Glacier bay was super cold, but I was so happy to be there!

This is how I stayed for a lot of the trip, bundled up with binoculars glued to my face!

Seeing glaciers in real life was the one thing I was looking forward to most about this trip.  I've studied so much about glaciers and how they shape the world.  I've even studied about the very glaciers we saw.  I was so excited to see the Mendenhal Glacier I was shaking.   

I can't believe I'm standing at the foot of Mendenhal Glacier!!!

That's right Glacier+Robert+Millie=Love...I was a little giddy...

A cool spot on the glacier with a little (well actually pretty big) waterfall.  Cool random fact, you can take a picture through your binoculars and it will add more zoom to your camera!

This was another awesome waterfall by the M. Glacier.  Yup that's me on that rock.  You can't tell but the rock is surrounded by water and I'm being over come by mist.  It was really cool, but very cold.

 Well those are five of the reasons I loved this trip.  Not to mention the awesome food, cool towns, late night dance parties, amazing shows on the ship and all the bonding that went on with the Lewis family.  To say goodbye here are just a few more random pictures...

Awesome huh?  We asked the bus driver to slow way down so we could get a picture of the sign.  Of course this made me a little homesick for our sweet Aurora...but I got over it pretty well.  I only cried once on this trip because I missed Aurora!  I think that was pretty good for an 8 day vacation.

Of course we saw totem poles and native carvings, Robert couldn't resist giving the eagle a kiss.

This totem pole is just in someone's front yard.  The sign said he got it for his wife, named Millie...

Have a wonderful day and a great new week!

-Millie

Rock Star

Today is a Rockin' Monday with Millie...

Right now Robert and I are pretending we're rock stars.  We're living it up on a cruise to Alaska with most of Robert's family.  So while we're Rockin' on the Sea I thought I'd tell you about our little Rock Star...

Here is the World Famous Aurora Lewis...

She tries to wear disguises to keep the paparazzi away,

But we know it's her.  And even though she likes a private personal life with her baby, as an artist...

She likes to think outside of the box. 

Of course Lady Gaga is her inspiration for her style.

But we love her anyway.  I hope you enjoyed the exclusive inside look at the life of Aurora.  Aren't 16 month old's fun?  They do the strangest things!

Have a fun day and I'll let you know about the cruise next week!

-Millie

Mother's Day

Millie Monday's report on Mother's Day! 

(And a few Pictures of my 16 months of motherhood)

Happy Mother's day to all of you mothers, soon to be mothers, or one day mothers.  

I hope everyone was thoroughly pampered and had a wonderful day, like I did.

I hope you were able to sleep in a while (depending on your church scheduale of course), like I did. 

I hope your children slept all the way through the night so you weren't bothered, like mine almost did...

I hope your husbands and children were thoughtful enough to bring you breakfast in bed, like mine did...even though I got up and ate it at the table.  Who really wants the crumbs in the bed?  And who would have to clean that up?

I hope you were showered in wonderful and thoughtful gifts, like I was.  (Primary song book and favorite candy)

I hope you got to see, talk or think about your own mother.  I hope you got to tell her how much you love her and how much she means to you. 

Most of all if you already have children I hope you got to be a mom today and feel the love that your little ones feel for you.   And if you don't have children...

Remember, Eve was named the Mother of All Living long before she bore children.  One day everyone will have a chance to be a mother if they want it.  Your little children, no matter when or how they come to you already love you.  I hope you felt that love today.  

Mother's are the greatest and I'm honored to be one.

I hope everyone had a great Mother's Day and have a great week!

-Millie