I want my momma...by Judi

What is it about Moms?  So...tell me you have not had this experience, cause I am pretty sure everyone has.  You have been holding things together pretty well.  You are chugging along trying to make it and then your mom shows up and WHAM, all emotions and pain you have been holding in just come pouring out and you have to let your mom know just how bad it is! I remember an experience after I had Thomas and was having major Postpartum Anxiety and I knew my mom was going to call and check on me and I kept repeating in my head, "be strong, be strong, don't let mom know how bad you are doing" and as soon as I answered the phone, before I could even say hello, I burst into tears!  So much for being strong.

Poor Moms! They always get all of the whining and crying.

Thomas has been very sick this week. He has had a high fever for DAYS and has cried for DAYS (don't worry, I took him to the doctor and $100 dollars later, it is a virus that must run its course...ughh!).  The only way we could get him to calm down was to take him outside.  So last night when he would not stop crying, Mike took him outside to calm him down.  I could hear him outside the door calming down.  I could even hear him laughing a little with Mike, BUT as soon as they came back in...Thomas ran to me and buried his little face in my shoulder and just cried as if to say, "I was trying to be brave for Daddy, but Mom, I have to let you know that I am still hurting."

Poor kid...being sick is not fun!

It's a rough life always being the one to hear all of the whining and crying (if you don't believe me...ask my mom how much whining and crying she gets from us seven girls even as grown adults.)  BUT there is something comforting knowing that someone needs you.  It's nice to be needed, isn't it?

Yeah.  It is nice to be needed.

Growing Up

Emily (our dearest cousin...and sister at heart) over at the Us in Russ wrote this beautiful piece and is our Guest Post today! Enjoy it!

For mothers day this year my four year old son picked out a stunning set of silver hoop earrings for me. When I opened them he told me how “gorgeous” he thought they would be on me and that I should have worn them to my wedding because they were so beautiful.

He then decided that it was too bad I didn’t still have my wedding dress because then I could put it on and be “gorgeous”. After I laughed at how his perception of ultimate gorgeousness included a wedding dress, I proceeded to tell him that I indeed DO still have my wedding dress. He excitedly started planning my makeover. At this point I had to burst his little bubble and tell him that I didn’t think the wedding dress would fit me anymore. This confused his little mind because he didn’t think grownups were supposed to grow anymore… Yes, well… neither did I son, neither did I!!

Grown ups DO indeed keep growing in many different ways (some more desirable than others!) I was recently thinking about my 21 year old newlywed self and wondering if I would go back.

Yes, I would LOVE to fit in that dress again and I miss my tiny waistline, but I also wouldn’t have four little people around me (who ruined that waistline). That young me was sweet and full of hope, constantly looking for someone to help. The new me is tired and busy, constantly dreaming of someone to help ME!!

I’ve been comparing myself to the girl I used to be. I look at the growth that I have made in the last ten years and I am not sure I would want to go back. I would have time for myself and I would only be tired because I stayed up late talking and staring into Johnny’s eyes. Now I am tired from folding 7 loads of laundry and getting up in the night (four times) with a scared, trembling child. That young me might have been able to do crafts (that didn’t involve finger paints) and read books (that weren’t Goodnight Moon) and sit down to watch a movie (that wasn’t Cars)… but that me would also have missed the little creature who is downstairs calling for his Mama to come play.

That younger me might not yell as much, but she wouldn’t be learning (and relearning…) patience when a 1 year old wants to dress himself. Her house might be cleaner, but she probably wouldn't appreciate the incredible beauty of an empty laundry basket or a freshly scrubbed floor. That young girl hadn't learned the difficult lessons of life that come with a heartbreaking infertility struggle or the sacrifice and sickness involved in pregnancy. But that young me also didn't know the unspeakable joy of holding a new little person or the complete bliss of watching a tired toddler finally drift off to sleep in her arms. I think she may have felt a familiar longing as she watched me rock a fevered baby (or two). She may have even shed a tear as she watched me teach an 18 month old how to pray or as she overheard my 6 year old pray for me.

At 21, I didn’t know that I would move across the country, far away from my family and friends. But I also didn’t know that I would make some of the best friends of my life and grow to love my new home (then cry when I had to leave it and start all over again in a new place).

My 21 year old self was confident, friendly, and excited about life. She was also naive, inconsiderate at times, and just slightly selfish. Though I am still far from perfect, the “old” me is strong in so many more ways than I could have imagined!

Some of the growing and stretching I've done has been painful. That young me didn't know the heartbreak of crying with a friend who has lost a child or the sorrow that comes from watching others suffer. She hadn't experienced severe loss, or pain, or the ache of quiet struggle, but she also didn't fully appreciate joy, compassion, and peace.

Sometimes that growing and stretching hurts so much but I am learning to embrace the stretch marks, both outside and inside, because the blessings that have come from my struggles have brought me more joy than my 21 year old self could have ever imagined! They are a part of who I am growing up to be!

No Doubt

Happy Memorial Monday with Millie!

You know, the other day I was thinking about when I was young and in love with Robert, (I'm still in love with Robert, but a little less young...a little.)

When I was young and dreaming of marrying Robert I had no doubt about what our children would be like.

I had no doubt they'd be big strong kids. 

I had no doubt they'd have big beautiful blue eyes.

I also had no doubt they would have thick curly hair...but we're still working on the thick part.

What I didn't know was how Robert and I would combine.  I didn't really know what our kids would look like.  I was shocked when she came out looking so much like me!

me, I don't know how old

Me, probably 18 months or so?

I couldn't use pictures of me looking straight at the camera, Aurora's face is a lot like Robert's straight on.

I was also a little shocked when it turns out Aurora's personality was a lot like mine too!  She loves shows and characters.

The biggest shock of all was how Robert and I combined.  Aurora has my obsessive personality, and Robert's energy!  That makes for a very difficult 1 1/2 year old.

But even though Aurora looks like me, when Robert and Aurora are together,

There is no doubt they are Father and Daughter!

 
But most of all when I was young I had no doubt I would love my future babies!

-Millie

Mother's Day

Millie Monday's report on Mother's Day! 

(And a few Pictures of my 16 months of motherhood)

Happy Mother's day to all of you mothers, soon to be mothers, or one day mothers.  

I hope everyone was thoroughly pampered and had a wonderful day, like I did.

I hope you were able to sleep in a while (depending on your church scheduale of course), like I did. 

I hope your children slept all the way through the night so you weren't bothered, like mine almost did...

I hope your husbands and children were thoughtful enough to bring you breakfast in bed, like mine did...even though I got up and ate it at the table.  Who really wants the crumbs in the bed?  And who would have to clean that up?

I hope you were showered in wonderful and thoughtful gifts, like I was.  (Primary song book and favorite candy)

I hope you got to see, talk or think about your own mother.  I hope you got to tell her how much you love her and how much she means to you. 

Most of all if you already have children I hope you got to be a mom today and feel the love that your little ones feel for you.   And if you don't have children...

Remember, Eve was named the Mother of All Living long before she bore children.  One day everyone will have a chance to be a mother if they want it.  Your little children, no matter when or how they come to you already love you.  I hope you felt that love today.  

Mother's are the greatest and I'm honored to be one.

I hope everyone had a great Mother's Day and have a great week!

-Millie