Monday, February 14, 2011

Valentines =I Love US!

Valentines Day!  The wonderful day of hearts, candies and love, and all too often a whole lot of disappointment.  If your a woman and you're anything like me you have been disappointed a time or two on the results of a Valentines day.  Either you are all alone and wish you had a significant other, or your loved one is a red-blooded man and takes it literally when you say, "Oh don't make a big deal."  So it has been with me...

Senior year in high school I started to date Robert.  By Valentines day there was no question that we were a couple.  We had held hands, kissed and even said "I love you."  I was so excited to have my very first Valentines day with a boy friend, something I had dreamed about since I started liking boys.  I went all out as I usually did for holidays.  I made enough Valentines so that I could hand one to everyone I saw and school that day (I was a regular cupid) and I had a great surprise for my Robert.  I bought him one of those huge cards (the two foot long ones you always saw but decided they were too ridiculous to pay money for) and wrote a sappy poem on the inside.  I had candy and I included the CD Help from the Beatles, both my favorite CD and favorite group.  I was so happy to have a special day with him, in between classes of course. 

Can you guess what's coming?  Days earlier Robert had asked what I wanted for Valentines, naively, I said "oh don't make a big deal or anything."  And Robert took that literally that I didn't want anything.  I need to give him credit, we did got to the Sweethearts dance at the school the weekend before, but in my mind it didn't count because it was a girls choice dance, and the actual date of Valentines matters!  But anyway, V-day happens, I'm thrilled to dance around the school handing out little bits of chocolate love and wait for that perfect time to give Robert his card.  It comes, I give, Robert loves it, gives me a kiss and says Happy Valentines day.  I think, "What!?!  That's It?  All this hype and he does nothing!" (selfish I know, he didn't have to kiss me)  Let's just say I was slightly crushed, and after a few hours of near silent treatment Robert figured out I was upset.  Robert felt bad and I felt bad.  Mostly I was upset that it was upsetting me.  Who cares if Robert didn't show up in my math class dressed in a tuxedo with a dozen roses to sing me a love song?  I was being ridiculous, but still I was only 18 and I think at that age your entitled to a little exaggeration. 

Long story short, a few days latter Robert brought me a dozen long stem pink roses and a beautiful poem apologizing for his stupidity, expressing his love and asking me to go to Senior Cotillion with him.  (Remember we were still in high school so getting asked in February to Cotillion, which is usually in April or May, is a pretty big deal.)  I will always remember that day and the love I felt from Robert.

Since then we have had several more Valentines days.  While he was on his mission Robert always managed to get me a letter or package on time for the special day and since he's been home we have had very special holidays together. 

There's a new advertisement, by Hallmark I think, for Valentines day.  It says that V-day isn't a day to say "I love you" but to say "I love us."  And I know it's always good to hear an I love you, but I think the biggest disappointment I faced that fateful 14th of February in high school was the feeling that Robert wasn't saying "I love us."  I knew he loved me, but I lacked the confidence that he loved us as a couple.  Now I have that confidence.  I still know that Robert loves me, but more importantly I know that Robert loves us.  He loves our life, and even though we have changed a lot since we were eighteen, he loves what we have become.  It's the security of our relationship that we love and celebrate today.  And Robert even though I don't have anything for you (yet!) I still love you and I always will!

I hope you have a wonderful day with your loved ones, or that you pick up a great Valentines Day story for the future!


Anonymous said...

Millie, thanks for the memories and the good advice. Last night Dad asked me what I wanted for Valentines and I said "You". I hope I get what I asked for. A nice evening together. Most of the time we get what we ask for so be sure you really want what you say. Have a great Valentines! Mom

Tami said...

Cute post, Mil! It's funny oh dramatic things are when you're in high school. Sometimes I wish I could watch myself in high school and how silly I acted. Glad to know I"m not the only one who exaggerated things, especially relationships!!!
It's fun to have a relationship that started so young and to see how much it has changed since then. So glad you posted this today. I loved it.
Happy Valentine's Day!

Em Russ said...

so cute Millie, hope your day was great this year!

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